Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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