Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
