The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
