Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
