I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
