the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
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