sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
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