dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
