Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
