Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
