I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
So gin and wine won't be happening again
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
