week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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