i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
