If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
