He uses pillows to masturbate.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
