worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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