Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
