I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
