I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
