2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Randomize