No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
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