The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize