Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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