I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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