Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
