Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
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