Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
The air was thick with penises
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
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