I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
