maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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