did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
