I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Randomize
