if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
It's shark week go big or go home
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Randomize
