Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize