the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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