I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize