I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
organizing the empties. That sober.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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