Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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