I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Randomize
