if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize
