My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
