So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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