lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
this will be a night to untag.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
