and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
