oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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