making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
My ass is underappreciated
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
