at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
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