I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
