8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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