I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Randomize
