how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
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