she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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