You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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