Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize