he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
