oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
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