And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
