This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
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