dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
