The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
