you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Randomize
