please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
